Ever Heard of Dad Jokes? You have the Best of Them, Right Here written by: DragosT1
A lot of people think that parenting is a continuous responsibility, with a lot of stressful situations and no fun at all. But that’s not true. Being a parent is the most wonderful thing in the world, but we have something for you, which will make it even better. Dad jokes! Ever heard of that? Even if you didn’t, you probably know a couple of dad jokes, but you didn’t know they were called like that. They are a simple type of humor, easy to understand by everyone, which will make every person in the room smile. Read the following article to find the best dad jokes and to humor yourself a bit.
1) A burrito walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender looks at him and says: I’m sorry, we don’t serve food in here.
2) A guy buys some milk from the local grocery shop. When the cashier asks if he wants the milk in a bag, he replies: No, just leave the milk in the carton please!
3) Do you know why the chicken coops have only two doors? Because they would be chicken sedans if they had four.
4) Child: “Dad, please, can you make me a sandwich?” Dad: “Poof, you’re now a sandwich!”
5) Child: “You know dad, I was thinking…” Dad: “Oh, you were thinking! I knew I smelled something burning!”
6) Whenever the children walk near a graveyard with the dad. Dad: “Guys, do you know why I cannot be buried in there?” Children: “No, why?” Dad: “Because I’m still alive!”
7) How can you make holy water the easy way? You simply boil the hell of it!
8) Dad drops his son at a choir practice. Before leaving, dad says: “Son, don’t forget to bring a bucket with you!” Son: “Why?” Dad: “So you could carry your tune!”
9) A dad goes to a restaurant and orders some food. The waiter asks: “Any condiments, sir?” Dad: “Compliments? Well, you have a really nice dress!”
10) A woman is brought on trial, because she’s beaten her husband with a guitar collection. The judge asks: “First offender?” Husband: “No, your honor! First a Gibson. Then it was a Fender.”
11) Whenever a child makes or says something smart. “Wow, you’re such a fart smella…Sorry, I meant to say, smart fella!
12) Last night I dreamed that I was a muffler. I woke up so damn exhausted.
13) How can you distinguish a frog from a horny toad? The frog says: “Ribbit, ribbit” and the toad will say: “Rub it, rub it”.
14) When you receive a medical form and you reach the “blood type” section, you might as well write “red”. You will be technically correct, right?
15) Do you know what was Beethoven’s favorite food? A ba-na-na-na!
16) 6/5 people can say that they’re really bad with fractions.
17) What would happen if FedEx end UPS would be merging? They would be called Fed-Up!
18) A dog with three legs walks into a bar. He tells the bartender: ” I’m searching for the bastard who shot my paw!”
19) Do you guys know what’s Forest Gump’s email password? 1forest1.
20) Whenever someone asks you for a good joke, you can simply reply: “You!”
21) Guys, I just gave all my dead batteries away. Free of charge!
22) Damn it, I shouldn’t have eaten that sea food. Now I feel eel.
23) A random guy came to me and tried to sell me a coffin. Yea right! That’s the last thing I need!
24) Do you know what’s the best thing about elevator jokes? They can work on so many levels!
25) I just saw a bunch of killer whales, playing some instruments. I think they were forming and orcha-stra.
26) Do you still have that sea sickness. Yes and no! It usually comes in waves!
27) I heard they’ve opened a new restaurant on Mars. The food is great but there is no atmosphere.
28) How can you distinguish some beer nuts from some deer nuts? Well, beer nuts are just 49 cents and the deer nuts are under a buck.
29) Hey guys, do you want to hear a great joke about constructions? I mean no, I’m still working at it.
30) A guy goes to the doctor with a terrible condition. Guy: Doctor, you have to help me! I suffer from a terrible illness. Doctor: “What seems to be the problem?” Guy: ” I suffer from a harsh Twitter addiction!” Doctor: “I’m sorry, but I don’t follow you!” We hope that you enjoyed our dad-jokes. You are free to borrow any of those and to tell them at the next neighborhood barbecue that you attend to. Everyone will be thrilled. We guarantee.
I am Jim Stevens, an Author of ToysAdvisors. I have two kids, a naughty boy and a very cute baby girl. I always want to make them happy, and I love to share my experience about parenting.